Astronaut's Career Catapulted

First Zipper

Gracie produces me

It started out that Gracie saw me using the graphics tablet to draw something and she wanted to "color" too. So I let her play around in Photoshop a little with the stylus. Then she asked me to draw Dragon Tales, this show she watched on PBS this morning that I personally believe came from the belly of my personal demon, Lakov Imaginicus. Due to these dearly held views, I do not know the characters' names nor do I intend to learn them. I just know it's a bunch of dumb dragons who are either too sweet or too simple for my superb taste. All this aside, I want to keep intact Gracie's notion that I can draw anything, so the first two below illustrate my attempts.

First, Gracie asked me to draw some infernal creature whose name escapes me. It sounded from the name like a large dragon, so I started in the T-Rex theme and added spikes and fire breath for dragony-ness.



Gracie was delighted with the drawing, but unfortunately, not delighted to no end, since she next asked me to draw some other something from -- what was the name of the show again, and is it really considered educational television?? This time, I struggled a little more, and tried to make something from Land Before Time except ferocious-looking, thusly the jagged teeth. She said it looked like Charlie, the alligator from the insanely cute show Maisy Mouse (google it). I was not offended, since the teeth are somewhat 'gator-y, and besides, I didn't know the thing I was drawing in the first place.


I thought she was growing disinterested when she asked me to erase Charlie and draw a picture of herself, Gracie. This subject, I knew what she looked like, but decided to draw a kitty cat instead just to get her reaction.
Gracie said, "It's me as a kitty for Halloween! Now draw me in my Clifford the Big Red Dog costume!


This Clifford drawing didn't come as quickly as the cat, since I wanted the drawing to actually resemble what she looked like in the costume. Also, she was sitting next to me and bumping my elbow. I did finish in a decent amount of time and with a decent amount of likeness. We both were satisfied with it I can assume, since she now hopped off the couch and plopped herself in her blue plush Tigger chair to catch the end of Sesame Street.

Pointed Head

Green October

I didn't listen to them

 

Mine's in Chinese

 

Like in Spinal Tap, only with snow

Y'know in Spinal Tap where the band manager, Ian, draws Stonehenge on a napkin and gives it to the stage props guy, only he writes the symbol for inches (") instead of the one for feet ('), so they end up with a peewee Stonehenge the size of this ruler I'm holding up. Which is kinda weird actually when you figure that the band and their manager who drew on the napkin are all British and would be using the metric system. Either that's farce to the nth or... I can't remember if the props guy was an American. Perhaps the manager, being a Brit, wasn't familiar with the symbols and flubbed it.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you it says "Winter" because this folder is for my Winter 2006-07 magazine stuff for my job. I draw on the folders so they're easy to find.

This is really how they talk

If you've ever seen the show, the characters speak this flabba dabba mish mash to each other. I guess it's supposed to be all toddlery and junk. So anyway, it's a mouse that's the same size as an alligator and the alligator doesn't eat the mouse that looks like it's a boy but it's a girl that has other friends that are about the same size except the elephant and the uh... chick? Canary? I don't know what Tallulah is. A yellow girly bird. This drawing came about since Gracie wanted me to scribble with her. I made scribbles of stuff she could relate to.

Homemade

 

I get Hanes

 

I forget who sings it now

 

Ancient Relic #17

I totally used to want one of these really bad! I think there was a Corvette model.

Ancient Relic #22

I found an old camera in my dresser drawer. It was a 35mm that I had begged my parents for before college. It was really cool because it would load and rewind the film all by itself! When I pulled it out of the drawer, it had dust all over it, and an incompleted roll of film still in it. Abandoned. Also in the drawer was a ziploc bag with 4 other rolls of film that had been used at some point or another, and one roll that was unused, still in the plastic case. I took all the film to the Walls-mart, and listed the camera and unused film as a giveaway on Freecycle. I listed it as follows:
-------------------------------------------------
OFFER: 20th Century Camera
0.0 Megapixels
0x Zoom
24 E-byte* Memory stick
See it at: http://photos.yahoo.com/shellirussell
Shelli in Benton
*E = exposure
--Check out SHELLI'S BELLY at http://shellirussell.googlepages.com/home
-------------------------------------------------
And somebody - well, more than one person - actually wanted it!
-------------------------------------------------
TAKEN: This ancient artifact went to a worthy archivist of such stupefying technology.

Let's just sayyy...

There was a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old giving me suggestions on what to draw. 

Suffer the species at the artist's hand

It started out a fish, but the body ended up too skinny. I stuck with it and tried to save it with a fluffy tail, and then the first layer of tail wasn't enough. The next layer made it offishally a bird. With fishlips. I decided everyone's not perfect, and maybe somewhere on Galapagos Island, there is a bird with fish lips. But as anyone without a beak can tell you, such a condition can make it dang near impossible to chirp (unless you have a gap in your teeth to whistle through like me, and most fish and birds do not have teeth at all). Therefore, my new fishybirdy species has to go bloop to call its peers. If it ever gets any peers, that is.

Stick Scottie

If Scottish Terriers were from Mexico, they would be Chihuahuas. 

Mr. & Mrs. Redneck

Yeah, it's in the jeans -er- genes. Ian drew this one a coupl'a years ago. I think he was like 10 or 11. He said that's not a double belt on the Misses. The top band is boxers sticking out of the top of her pants. Not sure why there's no hair. And the Mister! Argh! Even Urkel didn't hike 'em that high! 

Ancient Relic #23

When it was midnight and I was laying in the floor with my feet propped up on the front of the console tv like Mom said not to do, this crazy bunch of symbols would come on. I can't remember it exactly. It's been forever since I've seen it. But I'm pretty sure it had an American Indian and an eagle, and some color bars and some other junk like a sun or a circle with lines through it. Even in the late 80s, they didn't use it anymore - they just played a video of a flag waving and the national anthems, and then went to color bars. Since the dawn of the infomercial, everything was eventually 24/7, therefore killing the hypno-graphic.

have a snort

Anti-Piratism

I was thinking maybe Jerry Seinfeld could do some work for RIAA.

Mean it when you ring it

I just sayin. 

Cool License Plate #14

 

Greeting cards niche #4

Might not be Botox

 

Spry in retirement

No comment for fear of further excommunicating myself with society. 

Where do you start eating?

How yummy would six ears be? Six years of yummy! Wheeee!!! But then you'd have to break up the set. Would they be as happy? They couldn't be joined at the happy anymore.  

New Holiday #1

Or if you're not that ambitious, you could make it into a B. All I needed to know about faking report card grades I learned from my alarm clock LCD.

Make it snappy

Shoot, I got the words wrong.

When the light goes out

Cavities aren't just for kids anymore. Yo, I got Swiss teeth or somethin.

Not nice 2-point

Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or somebody has points for their food. I wonder if their stuff is filling. If you really want filling, do the 7-Layer Super Nachos at the game.