Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Make it snappy


Shoot, I got the words wrong.

When the light goes out


Cavities aren't just for kids anymore. Yo, I got Swiss teeth or somethin.

Not nice 2-point

Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or somebody has points for their food. I wonder if their stuff is filling. If you really want filling, do the 7-Layer Super Nachos at the game.

Bunny & Tots


I drew something to poke fun at what Nikkie's kids probably looked like on the first day of school 2005. She said it was dead on, and I think I got a ROTFL or at the very least an LOL out of it.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Ancient Relic #10

And a darn shame, considering how corn-fusing Daylight Saving Time can be.Long westerly shadow: rooster crowing, breakfast, go to work and school.No shadow: put down your pencils and eat lunch.Long easterly shadow: go home, eat, sleep, get ready to do it again tomorrow. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Ancient Relic #6

Ba-kshht Ba-kshht Ba-kshht "...top stories tonight..." Ba-kshht Ba-kshht "...but if you act now..." Ba-kshht Ba-kshht “…WHEEL! OF! FORTUUUUUUNE!!” Ba-kshht Ba-kshht Ba-kshht Ba-kshht Ba-kshht Ba-kshht “…Don’t have a cow, man!”

Okay now I can sit back on the couch.

Gumby's extremes


 Posted by Picasa

Monday, April 17, 2006

Jack N Coke

Samurai Jack! What are you doing in my Diet Coke? I figured you for a sugar hound. A naturalist!


HEY! I wasn't paying attention and posted this to the wrong blog! But it's a good opportunity for me to tell fans of my Shketches blog that I have another one called I See Faces where I mostly post pictures of things that look like they have a face - with a minority percentage of the content being little stick people warning signs and other things I might consider weird or funny.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

You will respect my Lib-er-ti

Gracie left her Carpal-Tunnel-Illustrator toy on the couch. Well, naturally, I felt the need to express both my creativity and my patriotism. It occured to me later when I received one of those email quizzes everyone forwards around that I wasn't sure which hand held what. I Googled it, and sat proudly in my swivel chair, knowing that Lady Liberty hoists the fire with her right. Point for Shelli

Friday, April 07, 2006

Boy could she hit the high C


After Noah and the gang landed on the mountain, it was not recorded on parchment (since the animals had used it up), but the story was passed down through privileged generations that the ark had a calling to do something more self-fulfilling than just floating around with God's chosen in tow. Yes, she had been a soccer mom long enough, and wanted to pursue her dream of Broadway theater.

Did this happen?


Women talk in the bathroom. I've heard that men don't. So we're in the middle of "transacting business" and talking about what I don't remember, when her phone rings. Nevermind that she brought it in there, but she answered it. And I wasn't finished - still a few seconds away from closing the deal, and hadn't even touched the paperwork. So, breep breep! and she's all, "Hello?" and this giant empty thought bubble appeared above my head. NOW nevermind that she brought the phone AND answered it mid-stream, but she flushed during the convo, and I'm STILL streaming. Have you ever had a double-what-the? It's not like the double-take, where you notice something and need another look. This is where there are successive occurrences of extreme abnormality, and the second what-the escalates in intensity exponentially from the first. A triple-what-the is rather rare and can invoke medical emergency in the what-the'er, and if alerted, the what-the'ee can even sustain physical decline. Anyhoo, I'm finishing and I now realize that she is not even speaking to a friend or family member, but someone at her dentist's office. Ewwww. I don't know. I just don't know. Okay, I'm coping with the surreality, and then I know I have to flush. I can't further the crazy, so I just wait, and listen to her wash her hands while still talking into the phone on her shoulder, and then clop-clop-clop her high heels out of the restroom... Unhold breath. Didn't notice I had it inside all this time. And flush.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

He's everywhere!

I keep seeing Kenny Rogers on different tv shows. He was on Nashville Star last week, and this week it's American Idol. I guess I'll watch for him to cameo on the new Rockstar:Put a Bunch of Has-Beens Together & Call It a Supergroup this summer.

Beach smack

I didn't mean for this kid to look like a Donald Trump spawn. It just happened. Like the accidental Kenny Rogers coming soon.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Et tu, DQ?

Did you ever have a Dairy Queen in your town and you would drive through and make your order specifically for two reasons: One is so you can see the server wiggle the shake upside-down, and making you think for that split-second that it's gonna splat on the concrete. The other thing is a tech way higher than microchips can handle. The vat o' liquid chocolate that turns into solid when you dunk a cone swirl in it. Awwwwww, yeah. You pull up to that window and there it is. Just to the right of the lady. All chocolatey brown and chocolatey thick and chocolatey sugary. Mmmmm... And then here comes the cone and the swirled-in ice milk. Pristine and glistening with frosty goodness. The chocolatey chocolateness beckons. The cone does not lurch or jump, but eases into the vat like a vacuum in slow motion. /Splork!/ And it is done. Our Dairy Queen closed about a year ago. It died when the highway's access roads converted to one-way. How I pine for the Dairy of the Queen and all such that accompanies.

Ancient Relic #9

1. Tapes
2. CDs
3. DVDs
4. MP3s
5. XM/Sirius
6. Your momma

snow leaks out

I say it makes the viewer interactive. You finish it, viewer! Don't be lazy!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

cut the cord

Okay, so I left my cell phone at work on Thursday. Duh. That was stupid. But I wasn't gonna drive all the back to work to get it. Too far. [pause for effect] Far.

So I said to myself, "Hey we've got a phone at home that plugs in the wall, so I can just use that." Well, I plug it in - it's not plugged in since we only use the line for dumb dialup since our dumb town can't get dumb broadband. I'm sticking the plugger-inner part into the bottom of my trimline, slimline, whatever it is, and feeding the cord through the little cord path. Then, I'm rolling out the tangly cord from the kitchen to the living room so I can put it on the side table by the couch. And then I'm trying to decide: does the curly handset cord bunch up on the table, or hang off the table to the floor? And you know what I decided? Landlines bite. Posted by Picasa