poster fright

The rest of the family waited in the car for Michelle as she moved bare feet an inch at a time across her carpeted bedroom. All three cute guys from Lord of the Rings are watching her. She can't fit in the closet - its not a walk-in. Pizza buffet night at the Hut was wearing into the evening. Why did she pull out the pull-outs?? Why??!!

Email to Fresh Arrival

Mon, Mar 13, 2006 at 1:15 PM ----- From: [Me] ----- To: [Fresh Arrival]
It's been about a month since Fresh Arrival had a post about Sketch Swap, and I am addicted to making sketches there. In fact, I was inspired to create a blog to show my scribblings. I let the site owners know (Dominik Schmid & Philipp Lenssen), and Phillipp blogged me. Thanks for the tip! Please see my site as well.
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 at 11:20 PM ----- From: [FreshArrival] ----- To: [Me]
Shelli- Awesome! I think I'm going to link you up on FreshArrival tomorrow. Thanks for letting me know, and thanks for reading FreshArrival. Richard Felix Jr. FreshArrival http://www.fresharrival.com one amazingly cool thing, every weekday.
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Fri, Mar 17, 2006 at 1:29 AM ----- From: [Me] ----- To: [Fresh Arrival]
Sweet! I feel like a superstar. It's hard to explain to my mom what it is. She just says... "Oh, nice." But how cool is it when your 13-year-old son is telling his buddies they need to check out his mom's site, and they do. And then they're all, "Hey man, is your mom on crack?" That, my friend, is the highest compliment you can get from a middle-schooler. Thanks for the PR. I might make close to a dollar from my Google Ads this month! Woohoo! Shelli
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Fri, Mar 17, 2006 at 10:44 AM ----- From: [FreshArrival] ----- To: [Me]
Shelli- Haha! That email made my day. I'm stuck here at the car dealership (brand new car, 10,000 mile maintenance) and I have so much other stuff to do today...checking email from my Treo, and lo and behold, amongst all the spam, a gem.Thanks for that. I laughed out loud.
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Fri, Mar 17, 2006 at 12:23 PM ----- From: [Me] ----- To: [Fresh Arrival]
Happy to entertain. In Arkansas, we wait until one of the wheels falls off our home before we take it in for maintenance. (Quite the ambassador, I am.) Shelli
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Fri, Mar 17, 2006 at 12:44 PM ----- From: [Fresh Arrival] ----- To: [Me]
Haha! I'm from Louisiana.

Email to Sketch Swap

Sat, Mar 11, 2006 at 9:40 PM ----- From: [Me] ----- To: [Sketch Swap’s main email]
I've loved drawing since I was small, so this site hit the spot for me. Thank you! In fact, I was inspired to create my own blog site, using screen prints from what I've drawn on your site. Go see! http://shketches.blogspot.com -Shelli
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Sun, Mar 12, 2006 at 6:22 AM ----- From: [Sketch Swap part owner guy] ----- To: [Me] ----- Cc: [Other Sketch Swap part owner guy]
Thanks Shelli, very nice work you're doin' .... I published this in my blog! Google Blogoscoped http://blog.outer-court.com
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Mon, Mar 13, 2006 at 1:05 PM ----- From: [Me] ----- To: [Sketch Swap part owner guy]
Sweet, I'm famous. I forgot to mention to you that I found Sketch Swap through www.fresharrival.com See the entry in the archives: http://www.fresharrival.com/blog/archives/2006/02/17/sketch-swap/ -Shelli

ruffled

Chickens are their own thing. Do not attempt to psyche them out. They will put you in your place faster than an undiagnosed OCD sufferer.

sees in 2d

He doesn't know he's at a swim meet. Don't tell him.

Window bell

Why's it necessary to have windows AND doors? Kind of redundant. Just merge the two. It can't be that difficult to make a window that's just a little easier to step through. And dogs would be so much happier too.

keep my five dollars

I've got Penn and UConn. I have no idea. Can I pick the Mavericks to win?

can't find it?

Socks, earrings, mittens... At Matches - Not Those Kind, whatever you've lost, we've found! We spend countless hours scouring under couch cushions, behind chests of drawers and that little crack between the washer and dryer so you don't have to! Call us today and we'll give you Preventative Maintenance free as a bonus to our valued mishap-prone customer!

got it right here

Did you ever watch Let's Make a Deal where at the end of the show, Monty is telling people if they can come up with whatever kind of a thing, he will give them a hundred bucks? If I could drive my car into the tv studio, I would have all Monty's c-notes. Aww, yeah. And then I guess I'd put 'em on the dashboard and hope they don't fly out the window while I'm procrastinating going to the bank for the next day and a half.

non-evolve

Did you ever wish you didn't have to get off the couch to pull the string to make the ceiling fan go from medium to high? No? Well how 'bout you're at Sonic and your giant SUV side mirror prevents you from parking close enough to push the little red button on the order menu. NOW you want some long arms, don't chu?

Jingle Jangle Optional

One day Butch was chuggin' along on his ole mare, Toots, when outa nowhere came a rustlin' sound like twernt never heard by his fuzzy flappin' ears. Oh can this western speak - he was impaled by a Samurai sword, and his horse had to get on her Blackberry to her Budweiser Clydesdale fiance for some wagon assistance. It took a while due to the Dalmatians setting up a trap along Main Street out of their arrogant jealousy. Long story short, Butch used to be long and now is short. This niche serves a need. Happens all the time.

P-Munk

Wahhhh!! Somebody call the Waaam-bulance, Shrimpy's gone all pansy. Sheesh. You'd never see Chia Elmer Fudd going on like this.