Women talk in the bathroom. I've heard that men don't. So we're in the middle of "transacting business" and talking about what I don't remember, when her phone rings. Nevermind that she brought it in there, but she answered it. And I wasn't finished - still a few seconds away from closing the deal, and hadn't even touched the paperwork. So, breep breep! and she's all, "Hello?" and this giant empty thought bubble appeared above my head. NOW nevermind that she brought the phone AND answered it mid-stream, but she flushed during the convo, and I'm STILL streaming. Have you ever had a double-what-the? It's not like the double-take, where you notice something and need another look. This is where there are successive occurrences of extreme abnormality, and the second what-the escalates in intensity exponentially from the first. A triple-what-the is rather rare and can invoke medical emergency in the what-the'er, and if alerted, the what-the'ee can even sustain physical decline. Anyhoo, I'm finishing and I now realize that she is not even speaking to a friend or family member, but someone at her dentist's office. Ewwww. I don't know. I just don't know. Okay, I'm coping with the surreality, and then I know I have to flush. I can't further the crazy, so I just wait, and listen to her wash her hands while still talking into the phone on her shoulder, and then clop-clop-clop her high heels out of the restroom... Unhold breath. Didn't notice I had it inside all this time. And flush.
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